Dude, I Am so Lame

[Amethyst]

Ah man... I so feel for him!!  and for her too... she can't let anyone in...

[Lady Macbeth]

Kusanagi rested her head in her hands and gazed at the blank surface of the desk. What did it mean? Did it mean anything?
A respite from loneliness, or something else, something far more frightening?

His hands on her body.

His breath on her skin.

Her name in his mouth.

Had she only taken advantage of his love to make herself feel better for a few hours?

She was sick of thinking about it. She should concentrate one something else. But what?

The knock on the office door made her jump, but only because she knew who it was. For a moment she considered playing dead. But he wasn’t stupid. “Come in.”

She stared straight ahead, pretending she was doing something on the Net. In her peripheral vision, the door opened and

Batou stuck his head in. If she’d had a heart it might have stuttered, but she forced her features into impassivity.
“You never close your door.” His tone was forced casual, but he didn’t make a move to enter.

“I’m busy.” To her relief, she sounded annoyed.

The lines in his face deepened. “Is there anything going on here?”

“No. You can go home. But keep your comm on.”

He hesitated, started to speak, then bit his lip. “Should I tell the others?”

“I don’t care what you do.” It came out sharper than she’d intended.

Batou’s expression didn’t change. “Okay. See you around.” He closed the door harder than he needed to.”

Kusanagi folded her arms and lay her head on them. She didn’t stop trembling for quite a while.

[Lady Macbeth]

She started checking his location, so she could choose a route to avoid him if they were in the building at the same time. If they passed in the corridor, she refused to acknowledge him. If he spoke, she answered as curtly as possible. Sometime he would stand and watch her as she stalked away from him, with the expression, she thought, of a Rottweiler that didn’t understand why its master had kicked it. No, that wasn’t fair. There was nothing stupid or canine about him, except the feral smile he occasionally flashed, but she hadn’t seen that in a while. He just looked like a man who’d been hurt.

She’d never thought much about Batou’s feelings for her. When she did, she felt nervous and restless. So she avoided thinking about it. But she couldn’t ignore it now. She’d betrayed him, used him. Hadn’t she? Should she apologize? It was easiest to forget about it. She should tell him to forget it. But the idea of sitting down and talking to him scared her more than anything had in a long time.

But damn it, she missed him. She missed his wolfish grin and his lame jokes and his unwavering loyalty and his archaic chivalry and the unexpected gentleness in the way he’d touched her.  She suspected, with a twinge of despair, that she would never see any of that again. Because of her weakness. If only he hadn’t showed up at the bar. If only she’d asked him to take her home. If only Kuze hadn’t died. If only none of them had ever been born.

So she gritted her teeth and shut him out, ignoring the questions the questions in his face as rigorously as she ignored the ones in her heart.


**Oh my God. Angst much? I just made myself want to puke.**

[Lady Macbeth]

After a week he couldn’t take it anymore. Had she put a permanent trace on him, or was she only monitoring him in Headquarters? To test it, he hacked the security system at her apartment building and hung out in the hall by her door.

After three hours he decided the trace must be permanent, but fifteen minutes later the elevator door slid aside to reveal Kusanagi. Location-specific trace, after all.

There was the slightest hitch in her step as she moved into the corridor, but her face remained expressionless as she approached.

“Your building’s security sucks.” He said, by way of greeting.

“Obviously.”

He ignored the jibe. “We need to talk.”

“No, we don’t.”

He cornered her, hands against the wall, trapping her between his arms. She could have brushed him aside easily, but she didn’t. “You have to tell me something. I don’t care what. Whatever you say, I’ll deal with it. If you think it was a mistake, tell me it was a mistake. If you think…” If you think I took advantage of you, if you hate me for it…he couldn’t say it. He swallowed. “We can’t pretend this didn’t happen. You can’t ignore it.”

She stared at his chest, refusing to look at his face. She said nothing. Damn it, if she wouldn’t do anything, he would. Whether she dragged him into her apartment or kicked him through the wall, at least it would be a reaction. He leaned forward and kissed her.

Her entire body went tense. He braced himself for a fist in his gut, but it never came. For a moment, her lips parted, her fingertips brushed his face. But just as quickly she broke away, ducked under his arm, and slammed the apartment door behind her.

Batou leaned against the wall. After a while he stood up and left.




She sat by the window and stared out at the city. She blinked a few times, and the tears went away.

[Lady Macbeth]

“It usually happens when there’s a big change in a relationship.” Togusa’s wife sipped her tea. “Remember when we first got married, and then after Mayu was born? Those were our worst fights. It’s hard going from being one person to a couple, and even harder from a couple to a trio.”

“But they’re not a couple. I don’t know what they are.”

“Maybe they don’t know either. They just have to work it out.”

“But they’re not working it out. He’s always looking for her, and she’s never around. It’s like she’s hiding from him or something. “

“Well, she’s probably scared.”

“Scared?” Togusa laughed. ‘That lady isn’t afraid of anything.”

“Look.” His wife leaned forward earnestly. The steam from her tea cup gathered in beads on her upper lip. “This is a woman in an important position, in a male-dominated field.”

“The security company.” He said quickly. Sometimes he had the uneasy feeling that his wife knew more about that than she let on.

“Yes. She has to be tough. She can’t show any weakness. She’s probably panicking. Give her a break.”

“He’s a good guy, though. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like this.”

“But you can’t really get involved, baby. They’re you’re bosses.”

“I know.” He smiled. “But it’s been…slow at work lately, so no one has anything to do. Otherwise it might not be a big deal. Sorry to pull you into the drama.”

“Oh, I don’t mind. It gets boring with the kids all day. A little vicarious drama is kind of fun. Hey, maybe you should write him a love letter and sign her name. Put it in his locker.”

“Like a bad high school romance movie?”

“Yeah! They’ll have wacky hijinks and finally end up together.” She giggled. “Now I feel like watching a bad high school romance movie, great.”

“There’s probably one we can download to the TV, you know.”

“…and the kids are in bed.”

"I'll make the popcorn."

[Lady Macbeth]

Someone knocked at the door, but it didn’t alarm her; the trace told her it wasn’t Batou. “Come in.”

“You never shut your door.” Ishikawa closed it behind him.

“New policy.”

“Bullshit.” His tone was conversational.

“What’s going on, Ishikawa?”

He collapsed into the chair across from her and propped his feet on the desk. “Nothing. That’s the problem. We’re all crazy with boredom.”

“The Chief thinks we’ll be back in action soon, as soon as the politicians settle on which lies to tell about Dejima.”

“Yeah.” Ishikawa leaned back, gazing at the ceiling. “That’s what worries me, Major.”

“What?” She knew what he would say, but asked anyway. Just in case she was wrong.

“I don’t know what’s up with you and the big guy.” He said. “But we all know something’s wrong. And with no assignments, we have all the time in the world to speculate. How can Section 9 go back into action if you won’t even speak to your right-hand man?”

“You’re second-in-command.”

“Technically. But you lean on Batou the most. I don’t know how he betrayed your trust-“

“He didn’t.” The words were out before she could swallow them. I betrayed him, didn’t I?

Ishikawa went on as if he hadn’t heard. “…but you two need to work it out. Because if you’re at odds, one of two things will happen. Batou will leave, and the team falls apart. Or he stays, you don’t communicate with each other, and someone gets hurt. The rest of us start taking sides, and the team falls apart.” He swung his feet to the floor. Without another word he got up and left her office.

She stared at the chair Ishikawa had vacated. Nearly three weeks, and she was no closer to finding the courage to apologize to him. Ishikawa was right; if she didn’t talk to Batou she’d tear the team apart.

There was one other solution.

She commed Aramaki. “Chief, we’re going out of our minds here. We need to get out into the fresh air.”

“What’s your suggestion, Major?”

[Amethyst]

Oh yeah, don't deal with it, get into some dangerous situation and somebodies gonna get hurt!! 

Man oh man... I can so believe this going on!!  Oh wait, it has been going on, right?   I haven't watched too much of GIS... but it sure looks like it's going on... lol..

[Lady Macbeth]

The cherry blossoms carpeted the ground in pink; the Fuchikomas had crushed quite a few of them, filling the air with their mild, sweet scent. After the others left, Batou lingered. She hadn’t expected that. When she’d gathered the guys in the Fuchikoma bay, he’d stared resolutely past her, like a cybernetic gargoyle. But now he was gazing at her with an expression nearly unreadable but for the two worry lines between his eyes.

“What?” She snapped.

“You okay?”

She almost laughed. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

He took a deep breath. “Look. We really need to talk. I need to tell you some things.”

“Yeah.” She brushed a stray flower from the hull of her tank. “Hey, Batou…”

He sat up. “What?”

“I wasn’t drunk.”

“Huh?”

“I wasn’t drunk. I synthed out before we ever got to your place.”

His mouth dropped open. “Motoko-“

Her name again. She shivered. “We will talk about it, OK? We will.”

He studied her a moment longer. The lines between his eyes disappeared. He nodded. The Fuchikoma’s hatch clanged shut as he ducked inside.

When he was gone, she took a few deep breaths to clear the sick feeling from her stomach. She ordered her fuchikoma in the opposite direction.

“We will talk about it.” She said aloud. “But not today.”



The End

**man, that's going to make Solid State Society waaaaaay more awkward and tense, huh? I am thinking of maybe writing out The Conversation they will have after that movie ends, but I'm still not quite sure what they would decide. The last scene corresponds to the last scene of the 2nd Gig, obviously. Why do we like to take our favorite characters and pitch them into a morass of guilt and confusion and misery?**

[Amethyst]

Because it's so much fun!!  lol.. very nicely done!  I enjoyed it... and I think she was lying about not being drunk... but that's just my opinion... I don't think she wanted him to feel guilty about taking advantage of her...  shrug...

[Lady Macbeth]

Oh, she wasn't drunk. She knew exactly what she was doing. 

I thought they might end up where they both think they took advantage of the other, somehow, and start freaking out and can't bring themselves to apologize. Another relationship sunk by lack of communication, I guess. Though I envision the end of Solid State Society and Kusanagi finally saying, "OK, I had two years to think. Now we can talk."

[marka]

That was freaking great for something supposedly lame. It developed into an angst fest, but then again, I think that's the nature of the beast. Some really nice dialogue, especially. 

Now I want to go and do a marathon rewatch of 2nd Gig.

LM, wish you were a Rurouni Kenshin fan. I'd love to see what you'd do with Kenshin.

[Lady Macbeth]

Thanks marka. I couldn't find any way for a happy ending to happen.

I actually have the first three volumes of the RK manga, I just haven't gotten around to reading them yet. I will, promise! 

[Amethyst]

Well I'd certainly hope she'd do a better ending for Kenshin than that stupid sucky ova!!  Lord that just makes me grind my teeth in frustration!!  meh... best to just forget it... lol

[snarg2001]

That was freaking great for something supposedly lame. It developed into an angst fest, but then again, I think that's the nature of the beast. Some really nice dialogue, especially. 

Now I want to go and do a marathon rewatch of 2nd Gig. Too bad you're not my neighbor! We'd make pretty much a whole weekend of Kenshinfest!

LM, wish you were a Rurouni Kenshin fan. I'd love to see what you'd do with Kenshin. Oh, for the love of god---NOT with Enishi!

[marka]

I actually have the first three volumes of the RK manga, I just haven't gotten around to reading them yet. I will, promise! 

That's great! The manga takes a while before it comes into its own. Even Watsuki's drawing style changes, becomes more refined. (Kenshin looks so ridiculously girly at first.) Have you ever seen any Kenshin anime? The Trust and Betrayal OVAs were the first things in the Kenshin franchise that I was exposed to, and they blew my mind. I think they predisposed me to liking anything Kenshin after that.

Well I'd certainly hope she'd do a better ending for Kenshin than that stupid sucky ova!!  Lord that just makes me grind my teeth in frustration!!  meh... best to just forget it... lol

  Well, yeah. But I liked some of the music. Have you read the last arc (Jinchuu)? That's sorta what they were trying to encapsulate in the Reflection OVA ... and totally failed at ... while framing it in some imagined future. Dummies.

--------

Snarg: What's this about Enishi? And a Kenshinfest would be great, especially a Kyoto arc marathon.